Monday, December 31, 2012

A Season for Change

I am a sucker for an infomercial... currently watching one on a Saran Wrap and tin foil cutter. I need it.

That's not what this blog is about...
I just felt the need to confess.

Christmas has come and gone, once again. All the little elfish surprises are done, presents are opened, and I have eaten enough junk for an army of Sumo Wrestlers. As I prepare to embark on yet another year, I like to look back at the past year, & think about what weighed on my mind the most and how could I change it.

The first thing that comes to mind is Lake. Most of my days do revolve around Lennon, what we do, where we go. I am at home with her every day, most the day. Lake is at school. He comes home, we do homework, we play a bit, I get dinner started. Looking back, I hate that I missed this age (Lennon's age, 2) with him... He was in daycare, I was at work, & by the time I was home from a long and mentally exhausting day at work, being a super fun and creative mom was the last thing I had time for. I took it for granted. The very little time we had together. He's six now, almost seven years old, and he loves his momma.

To say the past year hasn't been a trying one, would be a lie. I have a toddler... It's supposed to be trying. That, and Lake seemed jealous of Lennon. More than normal. She was a bit demanding, and tornado-ish as ever, and I felt I neglected Lake in trying to channel her wild ways. I mean, I know I didn't, but I felt he didn't get enough of my time. It's one of those bad mom moments, a terrible feeling!

This past week with him out of school, with the holidays upon us, I promised myself I would make it a Christmas he wouldn't forget. So, after many hours of Pinterest searching and blog readings, I found the ideas I liked best, made a "to do" list and dangit we had a good time. I know these are the last few years he will believe in Santa, and all the child-like magical things, so I wanted to take advantage. We have never really talked about Santa, so I was honestly shocked as to how gullible he was. He always seems so much older than he is. I call him an "old soul".

So... Instead of just some ole ho hum average Christmas season, I made it a butt-load of fun. I created a "12 Days of Christmas" advent calendar, I bought the "Elf on the Shelf", and then on Christmas night we made a runway for Santa's sleigh & reindeer. I even gave up my OCD controlling ways & let my little guy help me pick out Christmas gifts for the cousins. Ok... so he picked out 2 of 7. He also picked out the gifts for the 2 less fortunate kids we shopped for this year.

Anyways... We did the usual, new Christmas pajamas & a Christmas movie night, hot chocolate most every night, reindeer food, milk & cookies, & a birthday cake to Jesus... And when he said he "heard Santa using our bathroom & sink" that wintery night, I knew my work had not been in vain. And when he gasped and nearly stopped breathing altogether when I showed him the picture someone shot of Santa's sleigh in the sky.... I knew my work was done.

The past 2 weeks, he has laughed louder and laughed harder than ever before. My heart has been so full. To see him happy is the best feeling in the world.... Knowing your child is happy, makes all the difference.

The next year will be full of surprises, as it always is. I will make an extra effort to make every day magical and special. I will not take for granted the days I have with my babies.., they are only little for a little while.

Tomorrow I will begin my focus on living a life full of intention. Year 2013 may not include hover crafts and flying cars... But it is going to be a wonderful year, full of surprises, answered & unanswered prayers, and lots of miracles.

Happy New Year to you & yours.

~Taryn~