Friday, January 21, 2011

Rainy Day and Real Life

It's just another beautiful dreary day.... and so is my mood. Dreary yet beautiful. It's raining and grey outside. Everyone is at church but me. Or so I feel. But the rain is so beautiful, creating ripples on the puddles, washing my car so I don't have to, and it's watering the plants. It's so refreshing to think the first time it ever rained, no one knew what it was, except God and Noah. Yet no one was prepared, except God and Noah. When one realizes the power behind a good rain, how can you hate it? It's necessary for growth and cleansing.

Being real means, the glass is not always half full. While I do see the silver lining (coming soon) I do believe in letting out frustration. So here it is.
The Beginning
I had just walked in the door earlier this morning from CVS, picking up her breathing treatments and Prevacid (for reflux). Lake runs up to me saying, very loudly, "Mommy, Lennon spit up all in your bed and in my room!" There's my Charlie, hauling our quilt to the laundry room. Adding to the out of control pile of laundry. Just another day around the Davidson home.
15 Minutes Later
Since Lake was looking at me when I almost threw my shoe through the window, out of annoyance, I opted for a childish throwing of my hands down by my side and grunting, "Grrrr!!" and taking deep breaths and counting to ten. Then I calmly cleaned up the mess... by mess, I mean, Lennon's spit up. I mean, let's get real... is it really spit up if it's projectile and 1/3 of her bottle every time? I had just finished getting her dressed for church this morning and I as soon as I put her down, there it came... bibs are a thing of the past... it is projectile so it bypasses the bib and lands in her lap, on her shirt/dress, on (and in) her shoes, her pants/tights, socks, then she crawls through it, getting it on her hands and then eventually in her hair. I changed her clothes and gave her a second full body sponge bath, (because this was the second time she had "spit" up) put a cute new outfit on her again... before I could even put her down, there it came, this time all over me too. Tears welled up in my eyes, she started crying because I am sure it burns her nose. Lake is looking at me as if, "What is mommy gonna do now?" So, I just threw my hands up and said, "OK, well let's take this off too... Lennon and I are not going to church... let's get you some breakfast and down to take a nap, baby girl."
Not many encouraging words:
I have spoken to a few DS moms and they say "nothing cures it, she will grow out of it but some meds do help". Help they do. I have seen the after mass of missing a single dose and well folks, it ain't pretty. It ain't pretty at all.
The Silver Lining:
I wish I had some profound something to say at this moment but I do not. However, I do look for the silver lining in every tough situation... of course this is after I throw my childish tantrums. Baby girl is doing so well. Beating so many odds, passing so many milestones. She is crawling around so fast... like a puppy she follows me around, grinning her swollen gums at me as if beckoning me to smooch those chubby cheeks... And smooch 'em I do. Her cute little white shiny specks of teeth poking through those bottom gums make me giggle. She chews on everything and anything, including Lake's pants leg. I hear her panting, I see her tongue wagging out, with a grin the size of Texas as she chases me around the den .. It makes me laugh so hard. Her giggle, well it hurls me over the edge of what little sanity I have left, into euphoria. I love it. I love it to the core. How can you be mad at her when she is so cuddly? How can you be mad at a situation when you know it's temporary? I would rather her puke her food all over me every day, than go back to her not eating or worse, feeding tubes and IVs. At least she is eating! I would rather her pull out every item in every cabinet, than have her idle on the carpet, not crawling, not walking, not opening cabinets or drawers. At least she is moving! At least she is curious!
I love that she knows how to turn the light switch off as I hold her and say, "Time to go night night," and walk over to the switch to cut out the lights.
She is healthy. I don't care if we are doing breathing treatments AGAIN... because we had a whole month of wellness! That whole month was bliss! 1.5 weeks was the longest we had ever been with out antibiotics... she went almost 2 months and still isn't taking them! I will dance a jig right now for that alone! So what if she's snotty nosed and running low fever every now and then. Heck, we all do that. At least she is not laid up in a hospital bed. I thank God for that.
Yeah, I have a snotty nosed projectile spitter-upper.
In the words of my 4 year old son, "I just deal with it."
That's life.