You wake up in the morning.
It's a day like any other.
You get lunches packed, kids dressed for school, quickly dump a cup of lukewarm coffee down your throat before you throw on a bra and a cardigan to take the boy to school.
Praying to God no one sees you and that he's not tardied.
On the way back to the house, the radio blaring... because it's the only way you can get through the ride with a child that hates the car seat.
When all of a sudden...
Something, or someone speaks to the very core of your being.
"Let go of everything you ever thought to be a comfortable and normal life.
That was your life.
You now have a new purpose."
It rocks your spirit ...
Because you already knew...
It was your purpose from the very beginning, yet you are just now really seeing it.
You didn't think you were still holding on to that old life... But, you were only lying to yourself... because every now and then you had to open that wound just to look at it, just to remember one last time. But one last time turned into 100 last times.
"There is a reason you are here on this earth. Now is the time to shine."
Suddenly... You are coming alive.
Busting at the seams with something inside ...
Something that will impact everyone you know and beyond.
But where to begin?
You gotta trust.
You gotta let go.
That's when he enters...
Filling your head with doubt...
With fears of rejection...
Fears of the unknown.
Fear of failure.
"But they will laugh at your feeble attempt."
"Who do you think you are?!"
"Ha! You can't do that!"
"It's a terrible idea."
So you become stale.... Again.
You've already given up.
Just like that.
This is an every day battle in my head, and my heart.
I know I am destined for greatness.
I know I have a solid purpose.
Every rough and difficult road I have taken, He will use as a tool.
The only thing standing in my way is me.
Those negative thoughts have got to go.
The war is over, the battle was won a long time ago.
I have to believe it.
I have to act on it.
What is faith without actions?
I was created for so much more than what I have allowed myself to believe.
Monday, September 26, 2011
You wake up in the morning.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I bet you didn't know that I sneak in your room most every night, just to get a peek at your sweet face.
I sometimes want to wake you up and hold you just one last time before I go to sleep.
But, you look so peaceful, I just let you rest.
I touch your sweet face or your arm just to make sure you are warm enough or cool enough.
While I lay in my bed every night, I think of everything you said that day. How you were so excited to tell me who chased who on the playground, about the new color you learned to read today.
I laugh to myself just thinking of you spelling sentences and making me guess what it says.
I know I am distracted often with your precious little sister.
But, I want you to know you are always on my heart and my mind.
I look forward to our Mommy and Lake dates.
We don't get them nearly enough.
Your daddy and I just look at you and smile all the time.
We're just so proud of the little man you are becoming.
You have big dreams...
You want to be an astronaut, the owner of a construction company, and a soccer coach.
I have no doubt whatsoever, you just might do it all.
You are so smart and driven to learn.
You are incredibly kind and thoughtful.
You have such a keen sense of humor...
You are a true joy to be around.
The love and understanding you have for your sister and her needs amazes me.
I believe wholeheartedly the Lord hand-picked you out of all the boys in the world to be her big "bubba". She is so so so blessed to be a part of your life.
You please the Lord.
When the Lord looks at you, I know He is saying, "Well done."
I love that you are already excited to be a daddy one day.
But I am more excited that you are not in a rush to grow up.
It makes me giddy that you know what Christmas is really about and that you want to give to those less fortunate than you at that time.
I pray you always have a heart for those in need.
I love you, my sweet boy.
I love you more than breathing.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Or will you see the whole beach and it's beauty?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
"Maybe... just maybe, somewhere over the rainbow does exist."