Monday, March 21, 2011

Thoughts & Plans

Isaiah 55:8-11

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

My God never lets me down. Even in my darkest days, even when I am being "me", even when there really is no hope.... He always brings me back to His feet. I tend to relate more to Martha but I want to relate more to Mary. Sometimes, He just has to do what it takes to get my attention. I could get mad, and I have, but in the end, there is always a lesson. It's always worth learning.

On March 25, 1999 - I did a lot of drugs... a whole lot.

I had bulimarexia, and had been since 1993. (I had to look this term up... This is what I found: Bulimarexia totally wreaks havoc on a person's entire system. While both conditions are damaging enough in themselves, the inability to sustain either of the conditions individually puts the person's health in an extreme state of decline. Obviously, if a person has reached this state, getting professional help as soon as possible is absolutely essential. A person who has bulimarexia will bounce back and forth from the symptoms of one condition to the symptoms of the other. She will display some periods of restricting her food intake to nearly none, and some periods of stuffing in large quantities of food, removing it from her body afterward with purging. If she still has the physical strength to do so, she may engage in unreasonable degrees of exercise, believing that it will not only help her control her weight but will also help her to gain control in general. Bulimarexia is the absolute extreme in the person's sense of, and exhibiting, complete loss of control.)

I was what most would say "on my way to being an alcoholic". That night, I knew I was dying... physically and spiritually... I had done too much to my body over a long period of time. It finally caught up with me. I know I had escaped death many times. Only for the grace of my God did I survive. But this night, was different.

I have not shared this with many people. But I will share it today. I know some will laugh and say I am crazy. I know some will be confused. But I know that I know that I know, that this happened to me for a reason.

I used to go to raves. I would take as many drugs as I possibly could. I was a miserable and unhappy person and honestly I did not care if I died. There were thoughts of "Well, if I do, maybe someone will care about me now." Or even, "I wonder who would come to my funeral?" A few weeks prior to March 25th I was at a rave in NOLA. I had not taken any hallucinogenic drugs, but I had taken a lot of other things. I remember having a "bad" feeling. Like, the kind that tells you, "Don't go there." and you don't, then you find out that place was robbed at gun point that same day. That kind of feeling. That night, I went anyway, because I didn't care. I saw a guy toted off on a stretcher, with the rubber still wrapped around his arm from "shooting up". Thank the Lord, I never did that.. or any needles for that matter. Seeing him, was a sobering moment. I went and sat in the back row, all by myself. I had a moment to think about my life and the road I had chosen. I bowed my head in shame.... afraid to even speak God's name. I was ashamed of who I had become and I thought, there is no way He would forgive me, or save me from me. A single tear fell from my eye, and as it rolled down my cheek, I fought hard the flood of more tears. Then, I heard a voice. A man's voice.... stern, but kind. "Look around you." I looked around the seats of the Palace to see who was talking. No one was there. I even looked under the chairs. Yes, I thought, maybe I had taken something to make me hallucinate. But I knew I had not. Now, I had my head down in fear... I was shaking in fear. I heard it again, much kinder, but also more stern, "Look. Around." I slowly lifted my head hoping to see someone I knew talking to me. I opened my eyes. I saw everyone I knew on the dance floor, dancing away in their drug induced bodies. Each person had strings attached to their arms and legs, like puppets. Including the DJ. Above them, there was what looked like a demon. Laughing as he was "forcing" them to dance over and over and over... they couldn't stop even if they wanted to. I will never forget the looks on my friends' faces..... solemn and stone cold... no emotion. They looked completely miserable... they looked like I felt.

I never could shake that vision. I never want to. I know that voice was the voice of God. I had never heard it so audibly. I have heard it in a soft whisper, or a fleeting thought, when I knew I had done wrong or when I knew I needed to do something to please him... but NEVER had I heard it so LOUD as if He were sitting right there beside me. I have to this day, never heard it like that again. I was so shocked that He took the time to speak to someone so dirty. So unworthy. It was life changing. But I wasn't ready. I fought the urge to change who I was by doing more drugs, drinking more, and still I was unhappy with myself. I fought desperately to lose more weight. That battle led me to March 25, 1999. I won't go into details of who I was with or the drugs I had taken, but I knew I was in bad shape. That night, I remember going to a Monroe Moccasins Hockey game. At some point I lost all train of conscience thoughts and actions. I remember "coming to" at a stranger's house. On the table was a lot of drugs. I said "Where are we?" talking to my friend... and everyone freaked out and made us leave because I was acting so "crazy". We left there and she took me to my friend's house. My friend, instead of worrying about me, was mad that I didn't share my "stuff". I asked, almost begged, for him to take me to the hospital. No go. Instead, I was told to go to bed. I knew with what drugs I had taken, sleep was not an option. But I went to the bedroom to be alone. "To die". My heart was beating so fast, it hurt. My teeth were clinched shut I could barely speak. I had never felt this way before, in all that I had done. I had a weird twitch that I couldn't control. At that moment, I searched for something to cling to... and the only thing I could come up with was my grandmother. I remembered her telling me, "If ever you are faced with the devil, tell him to leave in the name of Jesus." Well, you can bet your bottom dollar I was doing that. I started praying in my head... and that prayer turned into a whisper... and in my spirit I saw a demon. A demon in my body. Struggling to keep me. That made me mad. How dare he fool me into this life. I said with all the faith and power I could muster up... "Get out of me in the name of Jesus! I do NOT belong to you! LEAVE my body in Jesus' name! I am a child of God!"

I promise to you right now on everything that I know.... at that very moment, I saw a giant hand like light come down into that room.... it landed upon my head and it was warm... it was so warm.... it grabbed the demon by his head, and pulled him out of my body. I saw it, and I felt it leaving, first at my feet and I felt it leaving in my very core up through my head. The giant warm hand, that looked like light, threw the demon and he was gone. I sat there in complete peace.... and I started laughing. A joy and peace had literally overtaken me and I could not stop smiling. God loved me. He still loved me, in spite of me. I sat there, with a smile and tears rolling down my face.... and I was stone cold SOBER. I laid down, and I went to sleep, and I slept for 12 hours straight.

March tends to be a celebratory month for me.

March 26, 1999 - I gave my life to Christ forever

March 23, 2006 - I gave birth to my first little gift, Preston Lake

March 24, 2010 - I gave birth to my second little gift, Lennon Vale

Now I add March 21 ... I celebrate World Down Syndrome Day

Only He knows what I will celebrate in this month later on in my life. I am anxious to see where He will lead me next. I am sure at some point I will put up another fight, and I pray that I give in, because I know it will be worth it.

I hope I have not scared you, or made you think I am a weirdo. After I read the book "Heaven Is For Real"... I could related to what the boy said about God, being like a light. That is how I have seen and felt Him. Since I read that book, I just can't shake the feeling that I was supposed to share this. I pray my story blesses someone and helps them muster up the faith they have to allow Him to change them, for good. He has a plan for you and it is a plan for good and not evil. He planned on me being Charlie's wife, and Lake and Lennon's mommy. The plan is not finished. It's barely begun.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Year In Holland

I first want to start this post by adding a poem that was given to me after Lennon was born.
It kind of sets the tone of this post. Bare with me.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while... and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

(Did I mention my favorite flower is tulips? Always has been.)

How do you measure a year in the life... ??

One year ago, I was pregnant. One year ago, I was having a baby girl. One year ago, my world was shaken to the core. One year ago, my heart was broken. One year ago, I felt alone. One year ago, I was devastated. One year ago, I was certain I had done something wrong. One year ago, I thought things no mother should. One year ago, I was wrong.

One year later, she is turning one. One year later, she is my heart. One year later, my world is a better place. One year later, my heart is on the mend. One year later, I am anything but alone. One year later, I am overwhelmed... with love. One year later, I am a better person. One year later, I am living my dream... a stay at home mother. One year later, I am in love.
She's turning one in 9 days.
And some days, I still feel like a foreign exchange student.
Mixed Emotions
It saddens me to see how fast she is growing, but I'm excited for her to gain some independence. Independence is code for "momma gets a break". Her therapist, among others, have noticed how tall she is getting. I hope she is tall like her daddy and not so short and dumpy like her momma. Her ENT commented on how big she has gotten since the last time she saw her. I assume she means chunky! I notice how beautiful she is getting - every day - more and more.
Baby bug will not be a baby bug forever... booooo... and yaaaay! She is cruising on the couch now. She laughs at herself, and ends up stumbling because she is so excited to be moving with such freedom. It's absolutely hysterical! She has started balancing unassisted! (insert happy dance here) It's just amazing what early intervention can do!
My little Dutch Dreamboat
She is becoming a little lady. She loves her dolls and stuffed animals. She loves her maracas... Ole! She loves her momma. My heart is so full. Sometimes, still, I just look at her and I cry. I am in total awe of her, and her joy. She lights up every room. She is where it's at. Lennon Vale Davidson changed me. God knew I needed her more than she needed me. How do you repay someone for such a grand gift?
The Trip
Going to Holland was rough... Entering Holland was the equivelant to landing a plane without landing gear. I have said it before and I will say it again, I know things happen for a reason. I know the big picture is bigger than I can imagine. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. But for those who do share this journey... it's good to know we have each other. Because no one else will ever understand. The good days do outweigh the bad by far. Everyone else.... grab your backpacks and let's trudge across Europe together.... Holland awaits and it's beautiful.
Our first year in Holland.
Living in Holland?
What can I say?
Except that, "We've Come A Long Way, Baby!"
And what have I learned?
Holland is where it's at.
Who knew?! He knew.... He always knows.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I am a lone reed.

"You are a lone reed. You are a lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce."
- Frank Nevasky, You've Got Mail

I wake up in the morning and I do not feel like P Diddy. I do brush my teeth though.
And, I do feel like the luckiest lady in the world sometimes.
I have the most adorable children, a loving husband and the best job ever.
Wife and Mother. My heart feels full this morning, even if my head feels fuzzy.
I am thinking about yesterday .... Not a proud moment in Taryn-history. Nyquil was taken at 2:30am out of desperation to stop coughing, sneezing and snotty nosin' so I could rest. I do believe taking it that late in the evening/early in the morning is taking it too late... because when I woke, I was so out of it, I stood at the counter fixing Lennon's morning bottle.... Only to realize as I was about to give it to her, I had in fact, not fixed her bottle. I had simply put water in it. Weird, because I saw it do down differently in my head. Hmmm? Maybe I should've taken an Ultradorm instead.

Siblin' Lovin'
Lake loves his baby sister. Baby sister loves the dishwasher.
He was trying to give her some lovin before he left for school... she was busy playing in the dishwasher... or "helping mommy do the dishes", if you will.
This little dude has my heart. I was thinking how fast life has flewn by.
He will be in kindergarten next year.... after that, college. Ugh!
Dude got a new watch for his birthday (actual birthday is 3/23).
He now must tell us what time it is... all the time.
Literally. All. The. Time.
Lake: "Mommy, do you know what time it is?"
Me: "No, would you tell me, please?"
Lake: "Sure! It's 4:46."
Me: "Thank you! That means it's almost time for Lennon to eat."
(30 seconds later)
Lake: "Now, it is 4:47."
(1 minute later)
Lake: "Now it is 4:48."
(1 minute later)
Lake: "Now it is 4:49."
Me: "You know what?! Why don't we play Tic Tac Toe?"

Yeah.... it's like that. Funny, but a tad annoying.

In other news.... I saw an angel... she was chubby and had reddish brown hair:

Physical Therapy, at Home With Mommy
Here, you have Lennon, getting ready to scale a mountain.
To her, this IS a mountain... she has to climb over a hump, and then a bigger hump, to get to me (hiding under a blanket - which makes her giggle).
Baby steps... she keeps telling herself.... one hump down, one hump to go...
Maybe, a break... chew my finger and rest a bit? Pretend I am on the phone?
Forget it... ADD kicks in and she bails off the side...
Only because she was on a mission... to get the camera from me!
This is her chasing the camera... "Must destroy camera."
I envision that going thru her head in a robot-like voice.
She will stop at nothing to get the camera out of my face.
Yes, that is my striped socked foot. Love those socks.
She started climbing up into my lap, and then she ended with bowling me over, and pouncing on top of me like a lion...

Sum of it all
Basically this post is just to remind me .... that life is good on the home front.
Though the house might resemble something out of the movie "Twister"....
It's a "You've Got Mail" kinda day.... meaning....
Though, I have the personality of Patricia Eden: I make coffee nervous....
I am feeling more like Kathleen Kelly today.... it's going to be an enchanting day.
I just know it. I feel it in my 33 year old bones.
I wanna pick up my girl and twirl with her and sing to her.
I wanna go to the park and feed the ducks and geese.
I love this day. Simply because it's new... I have a chance to start over.
I got a re-do and for that I am thankful.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ground Hog's Day

**EDITED UPDATE**
Took Lennon to pediatrician ... it's a virus... woo hoo! Not the DS making her not eat!
Praise God... a fixable something :)
Silver lining, people. It's my "Winning!"

Every day it's the same thing. Lennon does not like food.

As much as I wish I did not like food, as her mother, she has to eat. It is my job to feed her on a regular basis. Why does she not like food? Is this a Down Syndrome thing? Yes. "Food Aversion" they call it. NOTHING gets me more frustrated than waking up every morning to this same battle. BATTLE... battle of wills. And she wins EVERY TIME.

I pray, I ask for guidance, I ask for wisdom, I ask for a miracle. I get ... nothing. No difference.
Every day, same thing... She spits it out. She chews the nipple. She clamps her mouth shut. She cries. She fights me to get away. Her belly is growling, for food. I can HEAR it. WHY would she not eat? WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY? WHY? Can you feel my frustration? She has to be hungry!

We go through phases.... she will be eating GREAT for a month, or a few weeks... We are making progresses with textures and increasing food amounts....and then she gets a snotty nose and it all comes to a screeching halt. Even after the snot it gone and she is all better... Nothing. Back to square one. We start all over for a month or more.... Then she gradually increases, ounces and then gradually back to trying different textures.... Progress! Then, she gets a snotty nose and back to square one.

These are the days I have bad bad thoughts as a mom. I just want to throw the towel in and scream ... "I give up! I cannot do this!" These are the days where I cry all the time because my frustration is so dense. I pray for a hunger desire to build within in her like a hungry wolf seeking something to devour .... nothing. I just don't understand. Does God not hear me? Is this some sort of "test"? Well I fail. I get an F.

I don't understand, when there are so many quirky little things that come with this syndrome, why some things couldn't just come natural? It's not like she doesn't know how to eat... she can pick it up with her little pinchers and she can put it in her mouth. She just doesn't WANT to. She can drink a bottle and a sippy cup and she can drink thin liquids with great ease ... She just doesn't WANT to. WHY? Is there nothing I can give her to increase her desire to eat?

Can you understand my frustration? (Insert screaming fits here)

Monday, March 7, 2011

A Year In Holland

I first want to start this post by adding a poem that was given to me after Lennon was born.
It kind of sets the tone of this post. Bare with me.

Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while... and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

(Did I mention my favorite flower is tulips? Always has been.)

How do you measure a year in the life... ??

One year ago, I was pregnant. One year ago, I was having a baby girl. One year ago, my world was shaken to the core. One year ago, my heart was broken. One year ago, I felt alone. One year ago, I was devastated. One year ago, I was certain I had done something wrong. One year ago, I thought things no mother should. One year ago, I was wrong.

One year later, she is turning one. One year later, she is my heart. One year later, my world is a better place. One year later, my heart is on the mend. One year later, I am anything but alone. One year later, I am overwhelmed... with love. One year later, I am a better person. One year later, I am living my dream... a stay at home mother. One year later, I am in love.

She's turning one in 9 days.
And some days, I still feel like a foreign exchange student.

Mixed Emotions
It saddens me to see how fast she is growing, but I'm excited for her to gain some independence. Independence is code for "momma gets a break". Her therapist, among others, have noticed how tall she is getting. I hope she is tall like her daddy and not so short and dumpy like her momma. Her ENT commented on how big she has gotten since the last time she saw her. I assume she means chunky! I notice how beautiful she is getting - every day - more and more.

Baby bug will not be a baby bug forever... booooo... and yaaaay! She is cruising on the couch now. She laughs at herself, and ends up stumbling because she is so excited to be moving with such freedom. It's absolutely hysterical! She has started balancing unassisted! (insert happy dance here) It's just amazing what early intervention can do!

My little Dutch Dreamboat
She is becoming a little lady. She loves her dolls and stuffed animals. She loves her maracas... Ole! She loves her momma. My heart is so full. Sometimes, still, I just look at her and I cry. I am in total awe of her, and her joy. She lights up every room. She is where it's at. Lennon Vale Davidson changed me. God knew I needed her more than she needed me. How do you repay someone for such a grand gift?

The Trip
Going to Holland was rough... Entering Holland was the equivelant to landing a plane without landing gear. I have said it before and I will say it again, I know things happen for a reason. I know the big picture is bigger than I can imagine. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. But for those who do share this journey... it's good to know we have each other. Because no one else will ever understand. The good days do outweigh the bad by far. Everyone else.... grab your backpacks and let's trudge across Europe together.... Holland awaits and it's beautiful.

Our first year in Holland.


Living in Holland?
What can I say?
Except that, "We've Come A Long Way, Baby!"
And what have I learned?
Holland is where it's at.

Who knew?! He knew.... He always knows.

Come What May

Come what may, my love will never change.
It is all up from here... right?!
I am choosing to be in a better mood today.
I have that power.
Seriously... it's much needed, considering the past week or so.

Attacking the camera... LOVE HER!
She cannot stand me to have the camera blocking my face.
I guess my phone was a little more inconspicuous.
She climbs all up in the lens trying to get to me ... makes it very hard to take pictures.
But it is fun wrestling with her... she giggles the whole time!
She looks just like Lake here ;)
Doing her model pose... she is totally rocking this dress, bow and boots.

Rain or Shine - so glad she is mine... and she suits me just fine.
In This Wonderful Life is doing a giveaway...check out her blog!

Lennon bug is walking with her walker more and more every day!
Words cannot express how proud I am of my determined little toot toot!
I CANNOT believe she is about to be a year... it seems like yesterday we were having heart surgery and now just look at her - so big!


I wish so badly I could get on video two things... 1) her expression when we start the "Signing Time" vidoes... She goes nuts! Laughing and flailing her arms! Hysterical! 2) her watching the SPROUT morning show. When Chica comes on she talks to it... and giggles. It is the cutest EVER!

Happy thoughts, people... keep 'em going.
Life is too short to walk around pissy.

Toodles!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Randomness

1. I am not a very nice person. I try, but honestly it's very hard for me to be all ooey gooey sweet.

2. I am always tired. Maybe that has something to do with me not being nice all the time.

3. I have lost 5 pounds on the Hairy Rosie O challenge between my friend and I.

4. I just ate two chocolate chip cookies and two uncooked ones as well. Hmph.

5. I use the term "gay" too loosely and I mean NO HARM. Just a very bad habit.

6. I feel like throwing myself an adults only party just for making it through this week without hitting someone. Lennon + Croup + Bronchitis + 2 ear infections + a trip to ER + a trip to ENT finding puss oozing out one ear + teething = Mommy's losing it. Mommy. Is. Loosing. It.

7. Confession: It has been almost one year (May 2) since I have had a pedicure or manicure. I feel like a troll. I look like one too. But when do I have time or $ to spend on myself?

8. I am so far behind on planning Lennon's FIRST birthday party - I just cry thinking about it. Almost want to cancel it just out of frustration. Yes, it's that bad. Parties are expensive :(

9. I made a really good lunch today - Mexican Meat-zza Pizza (saw it on Rachel Ray 30 minute meals back in 2004).

10. Had a good visit from my mom today. It was nice. She has done really well the last month. I am very proud of her.

11. Somehow the laundry is all backed up again. I can't even find a clean bib. Ugh!

12. I am the only one awake in my house again for the second time in two days. Unbelievable. I love the silence. I crave it.

13. The neighbor is getting a new fridge. There is a big Lowe's truck out front.

14. I want to live on 3-5 acres so bad. I want to air-dry my laundry on a line in the sun.

15. Lake is getting so much better at t-ball. MAKES ME SO PROUD! Especially since last year basically was the most boring games I have ever been to. Mostly because the kids were just too young and coaching sucked as well.

16. I am afraid of how many 5 hour energy drinks I could drink if I didn't have self control. I limit myself to one.

17. Lennon is waking from her nap. So much for quiet ;)

18. Lake did not eat all his lunch so he will not be going to the movies tonight with his Aunt Robbie and cousin Nora Kate. He really needs to learn to eat.

19. I can make Lennon giggle so hard my eyes water from laughing with her.

20. Thinking about that put a smile on my face.

21. I still have not gotten Lake's birthday present and his party is this weekend. Procrastinate much?

22. I have a really cute coffee table and I need to move it because Lennon's left nostril looks like she has leprosy from slamming into it. I don't have anywhere to put the table.

23. Charlie and Lake came home from the grocery store with a bag full of bomb pops. Those are my favorite!

24. I am surprising myself with how content I am about Lennon having Down Syndrome. Yes, there are days I want to throw bricks at windows because it does make things so much more difficult. However, I do think it is a blessing to view the world through her eyes. It's so worth the trouble.

25. Reminds me, I gotta take her and myself to an eye doctor appointment very soon.

26. I said I would never sun bed again, but the warmer the weather the more I am tempted. Don't judge.

27. I wish Facebook would allow you to opt out of things, like when people add you to mass messages.

28. My husband swore he would never Twitter. He is now a full blown addict.

29. Charlie is covered up, napping, with a big furry brown blanket. It's like I'm snuggling with a giant bear. I love it.

30. I think I am going to try to nap now.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Photo Blog, take one


OK so if I haven't bragged on my studly husband enough now is the time to really do so. He (the Valens-time Fairy) bought me a camera for Valens-time. Every time I say Valens-time I think of Ritchie Valenz and I start singing "La Bamba" - it is one of my favorite movies! OK back to the Fairy. So anyways, here are my first attempts at using a camera that is smarter than me.

Disclaimer:
The camera is smarter than me.
I am working on making the photos look much better.
It's a work in progress, people. Don't judge.

Playing outside with chalk.... Me lovey Spring.

Lennon bug, looking all cute... bad lighting, yes. Cute baby, yes. Ignore bad lighting.
Lennon, learning to walk :)

Lake, doing what he does best. The DSi gets taken away all the time, for weeks at a time because he cannot stop running his mouth at school. Oh my. What to do with this motor mouth!?


Lake, playing in the cattle gap. A sentence I never thought I would use.

Lake, being a boy at the family reunion.

God's Country... Trout,LA

Bling bling baby! My goofball of a husband, Charlie.

The Miss Marisa... Lake's got her wrapped and vice versa.

Love him... my little dude-present.
That is all for now.. man it takes a lot longer for good quality photos to load ;)