Friday, October 1, 2010

Heart of the Matter

So, I woke up this morning and my immediate thought was "No matter how bad a situation is, if your heart is in it, you will do whatever it takes to ride it out. No matter how good the situation is, if your heart is not in it, it doesn't matter because you are done." That is where I am at right now.... With a particular part of my life, anyways. But, I feel good about it. I think I have shed enough tears and cared too much about things I cannot control. And finally, I am ok with walking away and not caring what anyone else thinks.

On another and lighter note, the day before that, I woke up and thought, "My life is one big spoof." And I laugh still as I recollect the ideas I have concocted in my mind ... those movies that make up parts of my life I believe are "spoofs".... Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood meets The Devil Wears Prada meets City Slickers meets Office Space meets The Other Sister meets Couples Retreat.

Today, my handsome and darling husband took off for Death Valley to root for the Tigers tomorrow. I am here with the kiddos, soaking up as much of the lovin' as I can. The day started with adorable snuggles in Lady Lennon's crib - The Bug and her big "Bubba" (Bubba because I think every southern boy should have a redneck nick name).

Then it was off to the office to start the daily grind. At nearly the day's end, I get a call that Lennon's school has flooded and I needed to leave work and go get her. Since the hubs' and his parents were out of town, that left just me ... I left work early, knowing I will have tons to do on Monday.... and headed to the school. There, I found tons of water and a cleaning truck and mad chaos in the parking lot. I scooped the bug up and headed home. Not sad at all that I actually had an extra hour or more to spend with her today... because sleep is still her BFF. I do envy her on so many levels. So after lots of snuggling and chatting with Lake about his day at Pre-k 4 and a nice chat with his Miss Kaitlyn... Booger, Lennon Bug and I headed to Fox's Pizza (because, yes it is better than Johnny's) for a nice family dinner - just us three. Lake, to my dismay was disappointed that it was "just us" - he wanted so badly for MJ and Thomas Wade to come eat with us... But when they had other plans, I vowed to make it very fun! Then, worried if I had promised the moon.

We ordered my Booger's favorite... Pepperoni, just so he an pick the pepperonis off... not sure if he really likes the extra grease they provide or flavoring? And a Fox's Favorite with no onions for me. I told him if he could eat 3 pieces he could have the chocolate chip cookie he so badly wanted. He promised he could and he made good on his promise... so I sent him to the cash register with my debit card and told him to tell the lady what he wanted. He waited so patiently in line, like a big boy, constantly looking back at me, sitting at the table with the Sleeping Bug and a full belly.... he was giving me the absolute biggest smile he had... so excited to be "big".

Then the lady asked him, "What can I get you?" as she leaned over the counter to admire the handsome little man. With his sweet little country voice he responded, "I would like two chocolate chip cookies." Mommy was proud... and even more proud when the other worker bee came around from the counter to chat it up with him while telling the other worker bees in the kitchen what a doll he was. And even more proud when the little girl wearing the Drew Elementary t-shirt, sitting with her grandma, tried to get his attention and he blew her off and her grandma said "Does he go to your school?" and she said sadly, "No."

Half a cookie later:

Another half of a cookie later:

Then Lady Lennon decided to join us, not only in body but spirit.... and full of it she is. Six months and growing. She is hands down the cheeriest little toot toot I have ever encountered. God knew what he was doing, that is for sure. She has met more milestones... Allow me to brag, if you will.... Prop Sitting - and almost sitting up all on her own, no props! And, grabbing her feet... which she LOVES. Oh the joy she gets when she finally gets a hold of one. Her ab muscles are getting stronger and her smile is getting bigger and her giggles are getting louder. She gets so tickled at me sometimes she can barely get her breath and it makes me laugh so hard I cry every single time... whether it's from true joy or sheer delirium from all the extra hours I put in at work and getting up at the butt crack of dawn every morning after 2am feedings, I don't know.

Sitting there waiting on Lake to finish his cookies, he noticed we were sitting by a large TV. It was one of those "Nature Strikes Back" shows. Lake's questions of the day, "Mommy, what is a hurricane? Is it a little bit like a tornado? It has a lot of wind? Have you ever been in one?" I did my best to explain a hurricane and a flood and an avalanche and a landslide. This was a lot to take in for a 4 year old, but he was glued to the TV.

After we got home, got the bug to bed, changed into our pajamas, and picked up toys.... He asked me, "Mommy, I was figurin' we could watch one of those shows that is like Swamp People or River Monsters." I laughed and said, "Sure." I know most kids would prefer Phineas and Ferb and we usually watch that or iCarly, but tonight was different. After searching all channels we ended up on..... "Nature Strikes Back". Then we watched "Tornado Road". He had so many questions and when it showed a greenish grey cloud that was soon to be a tornado, I said, "Oh that is pretty. Those clouds are pretty." he Lake looked at me with the most offended look on his face... as if I had said a dirty word... "Mommy, do you want to be in a tornado?" I said sternly, "Well no." He continued, "Then you do not think those clouds are pretty... because those turn into tornadoes! And tornadoes are not pretty, they are bad!" Smart boy. Point taken and dually noted.

In the middle of Tornado Road, I had to go feed Lennon. I told Lake, as I paused the TV (Gotta love DVR and modern technology), "Wait here on the couch, I will be right back." After her bottle was down and I attempted to burp her for a long while, I returned to this:

So much for Tornado Road.

This day has brought me to one last and final deep thought....
There is truly no greater job than that of being a mother... the innocence of a young mind, the laughter of a darling baby girl, the never ending snuggles, sugars, and silliness.... Nothing can compare. I wish everyone had a chance to experience this. I know not everyone does and not everyone wants to, but to those who do have this divine and blessed opportunity... do not take it for granted. Do not let a moment go by in which you could have nurtured them, or taught them, or just had fun with them. I didn't have a lot of that growing up... don't just "be" there. Own the moment. Make it unique and make it memorable. The memories you share will be what carries them through life long after you are gone.

In Memory of Ted "Daddy" Dollar (he had no middle name so we gave him one)
January 24 1955 - September 29 1988
"God took him home. It was His will. But in our hearts, he liveth still."

1 comment:

The Sims II said...

I love this post, it is so funny and sweet, and so on the track to that book deal :)!! I cannot wait to have a little cuddle bug of my own...guess until then the hub and dog will have to do! haha